Growing up was very difficult knowing that I had an ugly secret. I was once a ward of the state at the Home for the Little Wanderers in Boston, Massachusetts. At the age of five, I was adopted by an African American family from Roxbury. My parents were devout Christians and we practically lived at church, attending services and meetings three to four times per week. My mother had formed a choir that my siblings and I were required to sing in. At home, we rehearsed tirelessly to prepare for the weekly Saturday morning's rehearsal at the church. I didn’t enjoy singing that much in my mother's choir because we weren't that good and the songs were depressingly old. We performed old slave-like songs such as, “I am coming up on the rough side of the mountain” or “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot Coming for to Carry Me Home.” Nevertheless, my mother had introduced me to the art of music which I quickly began to love and was on a quest to find my voice.
One of the fondest memories I had at church was seeing the adult choir musician playing the piano and organ. I would watch him like-a-hawk as he played a mean Hammond B3 organ that would “make you want to smack your mama!” He played with so much passion and excitement that the congregation would literally stand and clap and even dance through the aisles. Every time he played someone in the congregation caught-the-spirit!
Singing in my mother’s choir was the opposite of "cool." I wanted to do what he was doing! I wanted to learn how to play the organ and the piano just like him. After church, I would go downstairs to play the piano which actually had a silver padlock on it to prevent us kids from messing with it. I would wedge my little fingers inside it to play a few notes. Occasionally, I got caught and yelled at by the old church mothers who’d claim they paid for all the instruments. Children were not allowed to play them. My dad who was the Chairman of the Trustee Board for the church gave me access to the instruments when no one was there. I began to teach myself how to play and continue to sharpen my vocals singing in my mother’s choir.
Learning how to play the piano was a slow process and didn’t come easy. I didn’t have a structure on how to practice (scales, fingering, chord progressions, voicings, etc.) Also having to rely on my father giving me access to the church’s instruments was difficult at times. All that changed when I was 13-years-old. My parents gave me a 61-key portable Casio keyboard for Christmas. This gift had forever changed my life. There was no more sneaking downstairs to the piano at church or tagging along with my father to practice when he was doing church business. I was now able to play as much as I wanted in the comfort of the bedroom that I shared with my older brother.
My brother had a wide selection of music cassette tapes stored away in shoeboxes under the bed. I came across a smooth looking cassette tape. It was titled, "It's No Crime" by R&B singer-songwriter and hit producer Babyface. I quickly put the cassette tape in my brother's yellow and black Sony Walkman and drifted away with the music. I was instantly captivated by Babyface’s smooth falsetto sound and was impressed by his writing style and musical arrangements. He became my musical inspiration. I began to study his music to help me find my own sound and creativity.
I had practiced so much that my parents and siblings were pleased the day it began to sound better. I ventured off into writing my own songs, but it consisted of the same three chords. I remembered sharing one of the songs with my sister only to end up in a heated argument over the lyrics not making sense to her. In now looking back, she was probably right all along! I think I was too overly excited about having written a full song. After that response from my sister, I knew it would take a lot of bad songs to get to the good ones.
By the time I had entered high school at the Jeremiah E. Burke in Dorchester MA, I had already developed a basic understanding of the piano. My ninth grade music teacher became my mentor and spent time after school to teach me how to play popular songs including “Two Occasions” by The Deele which featured Babyface. At the end of the year’s school assembly, the Headmaster surprisingly awarded me with an Achievement of Music certificate. I remember feeling so inspired and humbled that someone thought that much to acknowledge me for activities after school hours.
After receiving the recognition, the Headmaster had also contacted my adopted parents and suggested that I change schools to further my development in music. I transferred to the Roland Hayes Division of Music, which was the state's only music magnet program for high school students with his recommendation. The performing arts high school resembled traits of that old American television series “FAME” which was a big hit in the nineties. Now with new teachers and mentors guiding me I competed and won numerous state and national music competitions, scholarships and awards. Years later, I reached my academic goal by attending and graduating from the prestigious Berklee College of Music.
My accomplishments are not mine alone. I had teachers and mentors who never gave up on me even when I couldn't see my potential. There were some close to me who may sacrifices so I can take the risk of pursuing a career in music. Although, I may not be famous today I am still grateful for these acts of kindness and support. Never underestimate the power of someone believing in you and saying that “you can do it!” The one or two people rooting you on can lead you to greatness.
In music, I found healing and self-confidence. I believe God gave me a gift in music to help me navigate through my childhood struggles knowing that one day I would be able to contribute to making the world better with each note played. Music connects us even when we are not biologically related. Music can heal our deepest wounds and bridge our greatest divides. Music can take us to another dimension. The feelings we experience when we hear something in the music that resonates with us is powerful. Recognizing this is why I aim to create music that honest and pure.
As this journey continues, I realize the road to greatness isn't easy to navigate and straightforward. There will always be some twist and turns ahead. But, the further down we go the closer we are getting to our destination. So we must stay the course and remain consistent without fear. We must be open to failure without allowing it to become a stranglehold on our future. We must reject the voice of doubt and listen to “I can do anything that I put my mind to!" We must embrace our uniqueness even if the world has yet to take notice. And finally, we must know that every life has a purpose and the world needs our talent.
